Explosive Contents

The news. Except different.


Howdy readers. I haven't updated this is a SHIT LONG TIME! So I figured now, at an internet cafe in Coffs Harbour on mah way to Sydney, I would. For the fuck of it! So... We drove all day today with my SUPER ANNOYING grandma. Which sucked. And tomorrow we are doing the same. But that will all be k when we get to TEH CITIEZ!!!!! The good part is, I have 300 dollars in my pocket right now, so that means... I HAVE 300 DOLLARS IN TEH HEART OF SYDNEY TOMORROWZ!!!!
I shall go to the Apple Store, camp out there all day, and  do a tribute to my good friend Ray William Johnson. Yes, I will stand in the middle of the George St Apple Store tomorrow and sing Apple Store Love Song. If any o' yall are in Sydney, feel free to check me out! SHIT OUT OF TIME CYA
Edit: Sorry for that peoplies, ran outta interwebs time. I will be at the Apple Store on the 29th of December, 2009 all day. It will be epic. If you haven't alrrady, go and sub to RayWilliamJohnson. Or else I will NOM you.
Okay, on to the actual story. Ever wondered where all the retards are in the entire world? Right here where I'm staying in Coffs Harbour. I am at the webernet cafe and there is a dude in the row ahead of me watching Fred and masturbating. I kid you not, fellow awesome. I am actually a little afraid. One New Zealender just came up and asked me "Fur e bait ov yir cirial brew!" to which I replied "Will neew brew! I werkd heard fur thus bewl of curual! Ut's mey curueal!".  My NZ typing accent sucks. I'v been having fun going up to random people in Coffs harbour and pissing them off, considiring i will be in Sydney in a couple hours. I went into the midd WAIT FUCK OUTTA TIME CYA!!!
Love, Harlei

I can has moneys??


Hello everyone! I have a serious question. Can you please click on these links?




And please click on them lots and lots of times. They will get me money, and therefore make the site better.

You in?


Love, Harlei

Hissyfit much?

Haxzor, come on. I mean, you need to chill the fuck out. I have changed the EP password, and I would be happy to give it to you if you aren't a douche and don't abuse your power.

In other news, I drank some water.
Anyway, that's about it for today. I don't much feel like writing.

Love, Harlei


Random news of the day.

Hello readers. I apologize on behalf of all us EP admins. Except for Haxzor. In all his supreme doucheiness, he has fucked the news post below this one to shit. I will leave it in all it's arsefucked glory, to prove the retardedness of his post. Haxzor, TYPE YOUR POST IN A WORD DOCUMENT IN ARIAL, SIZE 10. THEN COPY AND PASTE. IT'S THAT FUCKING SIMPLE.

On a less motherfucking retarded note, check out Wafflepwn on YouTube. Fucking ingenious.

ALSO!!! I'm starting the “Not so angry” Phone, 0448129696! Talk about anything! However it will become the VERY FUCKING PISSED OFF phone if you piss me off.

Add me on MSN! harlei_3@hotmail.com


Love, Harlei


Update time!

Well, time for a new update.
Um... k
Well, I'll just write an INCREDIBLY EPIC STORY!!!

I saw the sandwich, with it's perfect mayonaise, cheese and ham.
I needed to have it.
I loved it.
But that arsehole James stole mah sandwich.
I loaded me 7.62 Millimeter Kalashnikov
The AK47.
I prepared to go in. If I could somehow get the sandwich, I could enjoy the saltiness of Ham and cheese, and the beautiful mayonaise. I needed to make it in time! Or James would eat mah sandwich! I got ready to drop, finished mah cigarette, then uttered the most badarse words I will ever say.
"We gots to gets mah sandwich, motherfucker!"
I jumped from the plane, soon falling at terminal velocity.
If James new I wanted mah sandwich, he would probably piss on it.
I couldn't have that.
I soon realised that this will be a hostage situation.
I opened my parachute, stroked my epic stubble and thought.
While I was falling.
I forgots mah alcohol. That would make me WAY badarse.
Bugger. I need to remember to post this on Facebook.
I'm that badarse.
I prepare to land. I do a badarse roll on the ground, landing on a guard as I did.
I uttered another badarse phrase, "You forgot your spine. It broke!"
Damn, I'm good.
I smoke another cigarette near his body.
So badarse.
Once I finish being badarse, I grab mah AK and go in.
I can see mah sandwich.
James in using it to wank.
I went insane, shooting everything in sight. James took a bullet in his dick, and I didn't even thing of anything badarse to say.
I fell to the ground crying, next to mah sandwich. I can't even tell what is mayonaise anymore.
I deceide I need to take a bite. My tears clog my eyes and I taste Jame's love juice on mah sandwich.
I put my Golden Desert Eagle (really badarse) and pulled the trigger, my brain matter flying everywhere.
Mah sandwich was lost.
James won.
Fuck, that sucks.

Teh moral of teh story is that sandwiches own.
Love, Harlei

9/10/09  Explosive Contents are back, motherfucker!!!

Well, we are back. Told you so.
Since we got bored and wanted to remake our site. And we love you and stuff.
So since we're back, and we love you, we are gonna make this website, you know, not shit. So yeah. make suggestions in the forums, make an account or what ever! Maybe, JUST MAYBE, if I love you enough you will get to be a 5 star!!! It's like reconz, but not as good. So, here's my BRAND NEW NINJA JOKE OF TEH DAY!!!!!
K, here goes.
You can actually get Chuck Norris armour in Halo 3! All you have to do is finish every game in existence, prove it to Bungie, have a twelve foot cock, and be Chuck Norris.
It is soooo awesome that it will fuck up every Xbox in 100 kms andwin a match instantly.
Boop, boop, boop baah! Red team wins!

K cya!!!
Love, Harlei
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